Osteen: ‘God Wants You to Feel Good About Yourself.’ GOD: ‘No, I Don’t.’

I hear he's very nice. Joel Osteen, that is. Not God. A nice guy. Nice. You know what else is nice? Those videos of babies laughing at puppies. Autumn leaves. Nutella. Rice used to be nice, until they found all that arsenic in it. There's nothing wrong with being nice. And I never said there …