‘Jesus Christ Is Risen Today’ Rewritten by MSM Religion Editors

Jesus Christ is in the news to-da-ay, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!
Another tedious God-bothering da-ay, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!
Through with this I would have bet! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!
Suffer now we Mark Burne-ett, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!

It’s now proved and they’re so pi-issed, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!
That Jesus Christ ne’er did exi-ist, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!
Which he himself did so opine! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!
In Gnostic gospel fragment ni-ine, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!

Pints of ink we now shall spi-ill, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!
To keep a-churning duh-gree mi-ills, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!
Proving Christ was not himself! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!
So my tomes may clog your she-elf, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!

Oh the pains we do endu-ure, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!
As stupid Christians so cocksu-ure; Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!
Insist that Christ was surely raised! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!
Please may we punch them in the fa-ace? Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!

Now we seek to shut their ho-ohles, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!
No more talk of immortal so-ouls, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!
Labs have proved we’re earthenware! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!
So drop the God stuff or I swe-ear! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ley-ey-lu-u-ya!

And a happy birthday to Cesar Chavez!*


*Cowl tip to Will S. in the combox for directing me to the Evil Empire’s Easter homepage.


2 thoughts on “‘Jesus Christ Is Risen Today’ Rewritten by MSM Religion Editors

  1. I understand Google has marked the occasion by having an image of, and a link to information about, César Chavez, whose birthday apparently is today. (Wonder what he would have thought about that?)

    Up here, Google Canada just has it’s usual plain Google Canada logo…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s