Wall Street Consulting Astrologers for Guidance. Do I Really Need a Punch Line?

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Economics is generally considered a soft science, as opposed to physics or chemistry, which are hard scientists. Hard, not because difficult, although they are, but because they are

characterized as relying on quantifiable empirical data, relying on the scientific method, and focusing on accuracy and objectivity.

Whereas soft sciences, like psychology, sociology, anthropology and economics do not. They are characterized by superstitions, lies, circular reasoning, academic quackery, political correctness, and brain farts. (Although I may be mistaken about this.)

So it should come as no surprise that Wall Street traders, who are to economists what phrenologists are to really smart phrenologists, should turn to astrologers to help them earn a paycheck:

Financial astrologers like Karen Starich say traders know they’re up against a lot of rich, smart people.

“They want to have that edge,” she says. “They want to know what the future is.”

Starich chargest $237 annually for her newsletter, which 300 traders subscribe to for news of what will happen to the stock prices of companies, or even bigger, to the Federal Reserve. She sees dark times ahead in the Fed’s horoscope.

“They now have Saturn squared to Neptune, which is really bankruptcy,” Starich explains.

Neptune represents money. But when Saturn shows up in a chart, it indicates restriction. So for the Fed, that means the “fiscal cliff is here, and there’s no place to go except to print more money or unravel these financial institutions,” Starich says.

Of course, a lot of Wall Street traders, and others, don’t want it to be known that they’re relying on anything other than their own talent. Arch Crawford, a financial astrologer who actually got his start on Wall Street as a stock analyst at Merrill Lynch, recalls one subscriber asking for his newsletter in “brown paper wrappers.”

Crawford warns his 2,000 subscribers particularly against the dangers of Mercury in retrograde—

I’m sorry, I couldn’t even finish the quote…

Astrology plagued the church — both clergy and laity — for centuries. Philip Melanchthon’s obsession with it drove Luther batty:

No one will persuade me, neither Paul nor an angel from heaven, nor even Melanchthon, to believe in the predictions of astrology, which are mistaken so many times that nothing is more unreliable.

Is it worth expending even the electricity to express the contempt with which I hold astrology? That someone would pay even one thin drachma to consult one of these frauds is itself a sign of both Original Sin and Original Stupidity. Obviously, the fall from grace resulted in dented noggins.

The OT prohibition against consulting mediums was intended to warn against trafficking in dark forces. But some prohibitions I’m convinced were just to keep people from looking like total morons, as if God were saying, “Please stop making me look bad. Sin can be forgiven but stupid is forever.”

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One thought on “Wall Street Consulting Astrologers for Guidance. Do I Really Need a Punch Line?

  1. “So for the Fed, that means the ‘fiscal cliff is here, and there’s no place to go except to print more money or unravel these financial institutions,’ Starich says.”

    And she has 300 people paying her for this information? They are clearly really stupid and don’t read the newspapers and she is a genius. Leave her alone. The more money she takes from these clods the better the economy should be.

    Like

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